By: Krystle Crossman
Parents generally want to do everything that they can for their kids to help them to be successful in life. However there are things that they may be doing that are hindering their children’s ability to become leaders as they grow. We may not know that we are doing these things, but they can get in the way of your child’s success down the line.
1. Rescue: We come to our children’s rescue far too early. They will never be able to problem-solve on their own if we jump in at the first sign of trouble. If you see your child struggling with a problem, let them work it out (unless of course it is something that would endanger them). They need to be able to know that you are there for support but know that you are not going to help them and they need to do it on their own. This is an important skill that will be handy later in life as they will need to be able to problem-solve on their own and not use others as a crutch.
2. Preaching and Practicing: We cannot preach something to our children and then not do it ourselves. For example, you cannot tell them that they need to make their beds in the morning if you do not do it yourself. This will set a bad example for them. They need to learn to be someone who is dependable.
3. Spoiled: If you spoil your child the effects will spill over into their adult life. They need to feel disappointment every now and then. If you feel guilty for not letting them have the toy they really want, that is okay. It happens. But if you teach them that they will get everything that they want in life just by throwing a fit or sending someone on a guilt trip, this is how they will act as adults as well.
4. Risk: Children need to take risks every now and then, as long as they are not endangering themselves or anyone else. If we don’t let them, they will live a safe life. No one got to where they are by playing it safe all the time.
5. Maturity: If your child is very intelligent, often times that is mistaken by parents as maturity. Just because your child is smart in math, that does not mean that they are ready to go out into the world without learning other necessary life skills.
6. Rave: When parents rave about their child and tell them how great they are at something such as a sport, but no one else does, the child will begin to question the parents. We need to learn to give constructive thoughts on poor behavior or poor performance instead of always telling them that they are great. This will end up leading them down a path of cheating and lying to avoid reality.
7. Mistakes: Do not share your past mistakes with your child. They can hear the mistakes that you made at their age that are relevant to something that they are going through in a way that will help them learn, but don’t go on about every mistake you have ever made.