By: Krystle Crossman
Many parents use bargaining and bribery with their children when things get tough. It can be hard to negotiate with them sometimes and so they resort to these tactics to try and get their children to do what they want. Children can be very stubborn and can make life really difficult when you want them to do something they don’t want to do such as go to bed or leave the park. But how many fights can you have with your child before enough is enough?
Negotiating may seem like something that you should not be doing with your children as it feels like you are giving in to them too easily. It can have a positive effect on your child though. When you negotiate things in their daily lives you are giving them a valuable skill that they can use later in life. Scott Brown, who is the author of How to Negotiate With Kids Even When You Think You Shouldn’t, says that when you negotiate with them you are helping them to learn how to solve their conflicts in a calm and constructive way. Here are some negotiating tips:
1. Involve your child. Let them guess how long they are punished for or have them come up with a punishment for bad behavior on their own.
2. If your child is telling you that you are nagging him/her about getting their chores done, ask them how they would like to go about doing it.
3. Do not start a fight. Start an agreement instead. Do not give ultimatums to your child.
4. Make sure that you remain calm. If you feel like you are become too frustrated take a step back and cool off.
5. Understand that just because you are negotiating with them doesn’t mean that you are giving in to their every request.
6. Explain why you are trying to get them to do whatever it is they are fighting and try to have them see it from your point of view.
7. Make sure that whatever you are negotiating is age-appropriate so they learn the value of a good negotiation.