By: Krystle Crossman
Lea Grover is a writer and a mother. She is also what some people call a s*x-positive person. She doesn’t sugar coat things with her kids and doesn’t pretend that s*x is something that it is not. She doesn’t freak out at things that her children do that may be perceived as s*xual to most adults. Instead she has an honest conversation about it and speaks In languages the child will understand.
Grover said that one day she noticed that her daughter had her hand under her skirt and was playing with her private parts. She wasn’t sure what she was going to to do get her to stop. She figured that screaming at her would do no good since technically she was not doing anything wrong and didn’t know any better at that point in her life. Grover thought about what she was going to do for a few days and then finally came up with a solution that she thought would work for herself and her daughter. She just needed another chance to say it.
A while later when they were eating dinner at the table she noticed that her 4 year old daughter had her hand under her skirt again. She calmly looked at her and told her, “We do not play with our vu!vas at the dinner table”. Her daughter shrugged, got up and washed her hands as asked, and then went on like nothing had happened. When her mother found her doing it again on the living room floor Glover told her that they don’t play with their vu!vas in the living room either. She explained that it was a private thing to do and was meant for the privacy of a bedroom or bathroom. After that the motto in the house became, “We don’t eat in the bathroom and we don’t play with our vu!vas in the living room.” This helped her daughter understand without being scolded.
While some people may balk at this technique it is more effective that you may think. By not scolding them as Glover demonstrated they will grow up unashamed of their bodies and with a better self-image. They will have more confidence in themselves because they know who they are.