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This Mother Says She Deliberately Teaches Her Son Not To Share

By: Krystle Crossman

Sharing is something that we are taught to do when we are little because it is the polite thing to do. One mother however does not agree with this and teaches her children that they don’t have to share. Mother Beth W explains this as people are often confused by this and feel that she is doing something wrong.

She tells a story of how her friend and the friend’s two year old went to a park to play. The toddler brought along his favorite toy. While they were at the park another child decided that they wanted to play with said toy. The child demanded that the toddler fork over his toy so that he could play with it. The two got into an argument as children do at times. The mother of the older boy that wanted to play with the small car said that apparently the toddler’s mother did not teach him how to share properly. Why should she teach him to share with strangers? A polite “no” should be sufficient and the other child should respect that and walk away.

Another story that she told was of how she brought her own child to a play gym that had a ton of toys to play with including those Little Tykes cars that the kids can ride around in. She watched as her son took one of the red cars which was his favorite. She watched him happily ride around in it. Then she watched another child’s mother continuously approach her son and tell him that it was her child’s turn on the car. Why did she allow her son to keep riding the car instead of making him share with the other little boy? Because there were a dozen other cars that were not being used and one that was almost identical to the one her son was on at the moment.

Beth said that her son was enrolled in a parent co-op school. They made their own rules and guidelines for the children in the school. One of these guidelines was that if a child was playing with a toy the other children had to wait until they were done playing with it if they wanted to use it. The toy would be held for the child in case they had to go to the bathroom or went to lunch so that no one else could use it. Although so many of us have grown up with the notion that sharing is just something that you are supposed to do, Beth argues that this is not the way to go. She says that by allowing them to take a toy that another child is still playing with is implanting the idea that they will get whatever they want when they ask for it which we all know is not real life.

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18 thoughts on “This Mother Says She Deliberately Teaches Her Son Not To Share

  1. Debo

    Sharing is a way of life. Don’t teach a child to share, and she may create social ineptitude in his personal behavior later in life. She appears to be young herself by what’s expressed here. All children must be taught to share, period.

    Reply
    • We MUST do better!

      I am sure this woman will be in church this weekend talking about how she loves “CHIRST”, but goes home and teach her son to be selfish. Wow!

      Reply
    • Di

      I agree with mother in the two examples she gave. Why should her child give his toy that he is playing with to another kid he doesn’t know. That kid should have brought his own toy to the park. Perhaps they could have traded toys or something. Also if there are other cars the kid can ride why should her son who got there first give it up. Perhaps the other kids needs to learn to bring their own things or get there early. If I go to a store sale and get the last one on sale should I give it to a stranger just because they want it? Or if I take my reading material or tablet to a place where I have to wait should I give it to another adult who didn’t bring anything? On the other hand if I get to the sale and I have 10 of something and the person comes behind me and wants two I would probably give it to them. Or if I have an extra book or something I would share it. That is what sharing is in my opinion. I don’t think you have to sacrifice your own comforts and wants to share with someone else. Some people think they are entitled and do have a lot of nerve if you ask me.

      Reply
      • bessie shavers

        Sharing, to me, is just that. The one child had HIS toy. Should not be REQUIRED to share HIS toy with a stranger. The mother approaching the child to give up the truck that he was STILL playing with and enjoying should have been approached by the mother and asked to not approach her child and suggest that that mother engage her child with another truck/toy since there were other trucks. Parenting requires that we prepare our children for not always getting what they want when they want it. Especially when it applies to other’s property or when there are other items that child might use.

        Reply
  2. @guest &, dread

    I agree that a child should be taught to wait until a child is finished playing with a toy instead of demanding that the other child give in to their demands. That’s bullying.

    Reply
  3. Lisa

    You’re absolutely correct we must do better! She is the main person at church. Hands raised pretending to be praising God but really on stage awaiting an Oscar award. I know of this type of family! Mother and father are two selfish people who believes the world owes them something never giving and raised their two sons the same way. It’s horrible. Now the sons ( as well the parents) are a bunch of con artist preying on good people in the church.

    Reply
  4. Are You Serious?

    I read this article thinking I was going to read some new research or study done on kids that shared vs kids that don’t or even some ol motherly antidotes from a professional educator or sage. But it was just two stupid examples that don’t even really match the headline! Nobody wre said you had to share with strangers! You’re suppose to share with your friends and classmates in school. And then say there’s a school that will hold a toy a child was previously playing with while they go to lunch or the bathroom made me lose all the credibility of this article

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  5. Deb

    I completely agree with her. If you let someone barrow something it automatically becomes theirs or they brake it & don’t want to be responsible for it. Kids destroy things are you buying it for someone else’s kids to brake or loose , or are you buying for your own kids.

    Reply
  6. warren johnson

    I kinda agree with her, though there should be some limits. Why should the child be forced to share his/her toy with the other child who believes that he/she has some sense of entitlement. Even stupid and arrogant parents seem to want to foster this kind of behaviour. I would not allow my son to be so arrogant as to believe that he can just demand things that belong to others…. Too much sharing engenders a kind of weakness, because most people who share expect that others will share with them. They are living in the wrong world…. These same adults are the same ones who refuse to give to bums who stay on the same street from day to day asking for money. Lol!

    Reply
  7. Elem

    Black people, please understand that Christianity is a slave religion. It was forced on your ancestors at gun point.

    Reply
    • dee jay

      Why are people saying she goes to church? Why are people saying if she goes to church she should teach her child to share? Apparently someone needs to open thier Bible and read! First, I get her point, and its a godly one: protect your child, raise up your child in the way he should go, be a good steward over what God entrusts to you. He should also be taught to be considerate and generous to those in need. If a man is hungry feed him, cold clothe him, nothing about giving in to self-centered parents and greedy ill mannered children! In facr a Christian thing to do might be to point out thier rudeness so it wont pass on to THIER child! Yes, teach your child to be considerate, compassionate and giving and also how to stand up for themselves. Sharing is a two way street.

      Reply
  8. Yvette Dingwall

    I have no problem whatsoever with her statements. Too many times, these same parents who advocate that children should share are the very ones bullying others in the workplace, at home or some other venue or they themselves are being bullied and then use their kids to bully others. She has every right to raise her kids as she sees fit without judgment from anyone. That’s America’s problem these days, everyone’s a critic from the comfort of their computer! If people spent more time attending to their own business, lives, children, etc they wouldn’t have as much time to criticize others because Americans must always label someone/something to suit their inadequacies! Stop thinking that because you do it everyone else should too; that was YOUR decision and please don’t make your decisions MINE!

    Reply
  9. blacjk jones

    Sharing in this sense could be called bullying— unless their were no other toys and the mother was hogging the only toy —they could have easily took turns—some folk like to turn their misplaced anger on any available situation—–it’s MEAN out there!!!!——-It’s somet hing that is deep rooted in some folk mind—“LIFE LESSONS” may be the only answer……PEACE!!!!

    Reply
  10. Lavishchic

    I actually agree with this mother. When my daughter was smaller, I was the first one to shout “SHARE!” But as she got older, I realized how unrealistic this kind of teaching is. No, we don’t have to share every single thing that we have at all times when we are in the middle of using it. We wait until its our turn. This type of entitlement goes into adulthood where hardworking people are EXPECTED to share, ALL THE TIME with those who are less fortunate. Yes, we should all be giving, but we should not be shamed if we aren’t the first to offer all the time.

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  11. Ty

    In the context this mother explained, I agree with her.Why would her son have to give up the car that he was riding in when there were plenty more to play with? And if a child is playing with their own personal toy, they are not obligated to give up their toy! That other mother should have gotten her child their own toy.Now, if you invite someone over to your house to play, it would be down right barbaric to not share your toys.And even then, a smart parent tells their child to only break out the toys they don’t mind sharing.

    Reply
  12. Ty

    I was always told to not let others ride my bike, because if it were,broken, I would be stuck with a broken bike and no sympathy from my parents. I let my buddies ride my bike, but no one else.And the only time my bike got broken was when some college guys stole it from in front of the student union, while we were inside eating.

    Reply

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